The Silence in the Room
There is a meme that was circulating on social media that went like this:
It is very sad when members of the
same family do not talk with each
other. The children suffer for the
adult ego. Cousins miss the wonderful
opportunity to be together, and all due
to a bruised adult ego. Stop getting
offended. Reunite with your family
members. One day your imaginary
conflict will all come to an end… with
or without you. Don’t wait until it’s too
late. ~ http://genesology.com
I absolutely love the wire sculptor above entitled 'Love' by Ukranian sculptor Alexander Milov. It unmistakably and beautifully illustrates how conflict between those we love usual makes us feel like we're seeing things from opposite angles but still dying to not lose touch with each other.
I just want to briefly touch on this topic of conflict starting with the quote above. Most times, if you really examine yourself and the situation, you'll find that pride and ego are at the centre of most conflicts, but I don't like the choice of words 'imaginary conflict' in the quote. We think we are right in our stance and refuse to back down without a fight. Sometimes, surprisingly, both parties are actually hurting, but neither will fess up and risk being exposed as such. At times, the source of the conflict is just a reoccuring issue that keeps getting swept under the rug because the other person thinks you are creating an 'imaginary' problem.
Even something as simple as misplaced priorities such as constantly being on your phone constantly whether for work or leisure and not giving your spouse nearly as much attention in the way that SHE/ HE interprets love (ie. her/his love language). Or when HE promises to get something fixed by the end of the week and gets annoyed when you remind him every 6 months. Mmm-hmm. Misplaced priorities.
A big one for couples is not taking the time to DISCOVER your spouse and learn more about them whether in conversation or adventure or otherwise beyond the generic. As Christians, we love to talk about knowing Jesus, spending time in prayer and constantly reading the Word. But how many Christians really spend time getting to know their spouse afresh, LISTENING regularly and reading your spouse with the same suspense and expectancy as you would your favourite novel, like you did when you first met them and felt like you couldn't survive a day without seeing them again?
I could go on but I'll conclude with this: underneath it all, silence is most times in response to repeated neglect, hurt or lack of concern / appreciation by someone else close to you, where speaking seems to make zero difference. That's my take.
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