Motherhood: Tiredness of Lateness

Motherhood: Tiredness of Lateness

Motherhood has a certain way of making us feel like we're constantly late for life - ironically, kickstarted by a 'late period'. Apart from being late in the physical sense, there is also the feeling that any goals we may have set to accomplish prior to motherdom, automatically receive indefinite leave of absence. From that moment we took on responsibility of growing another human being from scratch, the rest of life seemingly took a proverbial back seat behind the setting sun.

This can be a daunting realisation, but there are so many constructs in society that only compound this reality. There are certain functions that just make it that much harder for us to achieve certain goals as mothers. I used to feel horribly guilty for constantly missing the mark for certain targets I set to achieve by a certain time or age. Now, I've come to realise that I may truly have been too hard on myself. When we realise these challenges, we may see things a bit differently and we are less likely to blame ourselves as much when we don't 'meet the mark'. Here's a different perspective:

1. Your situation may have changed now that you are a mother, but work targets and expectations remain the same. Corporate policy has not changed nor have the terms of your employment contract. You are the one who has changed. This is somewhat an unreasonable norm of society, considering the fact that your life has literally been turned upside down. Your priorities have altered, your routines have changed, your body has transformed and more than likely your health has been affected in so many ways, both short term and long term. Moreover, your mental state may no longer be the same, although this may be downplayed by society and even your partner. You have so much more to juggle as a working mother. Even if you have help, it can still be a struggle and mentally draining. Especially after those first few weeks living with a newborn, you may feel like a sleepless zombie in so many ways, but you still have to function and return to work and 'normal' life in a mere few months after. I don't know if we ever recover or really learn to successfully and effectively tackle this challenge without losing out on ourselves in some way, shape or form.

2. The achievements and titles of others in our cohort appear to be more pronounced and well-recognised than our own. Your peers may have become supervisors and managers, investing in real estate and flourishing financially, while you're here struggling with potty training. Some may argue that we were the ones who chose motherhood over career, but others may also argue that motherhood builds a nation, communities, families and facilitates livelihoods and career achievement. So how is it that we still feel cheated somehow when life can't literally go on without mothers?

3. Career structures and pre-requisites may have changed since you became a mother, making it harder for you to achieve certain career goals in the time you expected. They say time waits on no man, so expect no different with any career. Times are changing and perspectives are changing so learning must also evolve and adapt to these changes. It is no fault of our own that some of these changes may happen at our expense and at the least opportune time for us as mothers. Nonetheless, the strength of our character and skillset will surpass the test of time with perseverance and divine endurance. The race is not for the swift, but who can endure. Sheer willpower is not enough, but sheer stubborness to finish the race. Despite the odds and no matter how long the journey and how the tracks of life may change, finish the race and finish well.

These are some hard truths to swallow and accept. Never the less, once we re-direct our minds to focus on taking baby steps, we will progress at your own pace, achieve the goals set before us and get our lives back on track.

Leave a comment