Becoming a mother literally changes you from the inside out. Sometimes it can feel like it's for the worse than for the better, because each day you lose bits and pieces of what you have come to know as 'yourself' along the way like a dog shedding its hair or a snake shedding its skin. You feel like you'll soon completely lose yourself as you slowly stop doing things or being places that you usually associate with very integral parts of who you are, the very essence of you. Nonetheless, as some areas of life start to grow dim, a greater light is shed on emerging facets of your character and your evolving title of Mother. As we grow, I call this process MetaMOMphesis and share some moments of enlightenment that I have come to know.
Commit nothing to memory. Baby brain is beyond real, especially if you're a predisposed sufferer like myself (ie. you've always had a 'baby brain'!). See, I've already forgotten my trail of thought on this. Classic! Chronic sufferers, like yours truly here, try not to committ anything to memory, so I'm an avid list-taker, calendar updater, journal writer, email to self-ers, multiple alarm setter and borderline overly organised and a constant overthinker. The world is in balance when everything is written down and more likely to be remembered and get done. Yes.
Your children are still just children. Strange. I know. More often than I'd like to admit, I truly forget that they have only been on this earth for less than 3 years of life. I'm quick to act out of anger or frustration and even ignorance, because I quickly forget how impressionable and vulnerable they are like wet cement. They still don't understand fully how this communication thing works. So if they say, "Mommy" a million times and I don't answer every single time, it's acceptable, but when I call them a million and one times, it's not okay if likewise they don't answer every single time, right? And if I spank them, it's different if they likewise hit me back or their brother or sister. Not to mention the whole other world of verbal communication through the spoken word. It's a lot to grasp and their frustrations are somewhat warranted. It's just sometimes hard trying to help them channel their frustration through less tantrum-throwing fits. Think about it for a minute though. How do you yourself deal with frustrating situations? Hmmm, see my point? They are your offsprings after all!
Here's another gem breaker: ninety-nine percent of what I said I would never do as a mom, I most certainly have done and vice versa. I always said my children would have very limited screen time at home and I would religiously inculcate a culture of reading. Needless to say, I have brought it down to a science to have a tablet or laptop within their sight or earshot for them to engage in within minutes of coming home from school. *Sigh* The Lord understands my struggle. Judge not.
Fill their days with daily positive reinforcements. This is one thing that I said I would do that has come to bite me in the rear. Our pastor once shared how he speaks daily reinforcements into his son's life in the mornings when he drops him off to school. He tells him something like this, very paraphrased, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are child of a King. You are born for greatness. You are bold, strong and courageous. The Father of the universe lives inside of you. Jesus loves you." Now, here is what I tell my 2 year old almost every morning without fail and he has almost got it down verbatim, word for word: "No kicking, no pushing, no biting, no hitting, no throwing. Listen to your aunties and be a good boy today PLEASE!" Then I say a little prayer that I won't get a call from the school today...again!
Now, this one was a bit of a shocker for me. In some bizarre twist of time and space, I have become more and more like my mother each and every day, even in the face! It's the ultimate betrayal of self! It's like our mothers zapped it into our DNAs on some cold winter's night to become exactly like them when we grow up, in order to preserve their unique strain of insanity for future generations. How inhumane of them! Some of the very things that we dislike so much that they do or did, are the very same things we ourselves now do as mothers! That's some twisted mental number that they did on us! Hmmm. Now how to get this done on my husband?
Thanks for taking the time to join me on my journey! I hope you gained some insight or laughs on your way down! Click here to go back other interesting posts on our blog, The Journey. Also check out our online store right here for all your baby essentials. FREE shipping available worldwide!
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