Dream On Me

Tonight I went to the theatre to watch a dance performance and a myriad of thoughts whisked through my mind as quickly as the dancers whisked around the stage. Those thoughts were centred around the fact that many moms feel like their dreams and aspirations were left for dead when they became a mother. I feel this way sometimes too, especially on nights like tonight, but I had to ask myself how true this really is?

I used to dance before I became a mother and still have dreams of getting back into it somewhat, when my boys are a bit more independent. Each time I see a dance performance on stage, I remember the fire that runs through your bones with each poetic movement. It's quite electrifying and exciting beyond words. Nonetheless, I don't think that because my obligations in life have changed means that my dreams are only that: just dreams. 

Someone once told me that when you have kids, it's the beginning of the end of your life. I think they were right about one thing. It's surely the beginning of something. I prefer to call it the beginning of new beginnings and first times. The first time I would usher life into the world, the first time I would have shared responsibility of moulding character and teaching wisdom to a tiny human of me, the first time I would hear the word "mama" and it refers to me (every millionth time after!), the first time I would watch a boy grow into a man before my very eyes and embark on a journey of life of his own, make his own mistakes, face his own disappointments, celebrate his successes and deal with challenges that we can only pray we equip him well enough to handle.

I'd like to think that I have not given up my dreams per se, but my dreams have merely evolved and taken flight into another dimension of dreamland. I may not dance again anytime soon, I may not publish another book of poetry for now, I may not be able to fully explore my passion for photography at the moment, or I may not ever get back around to doing any of these. The point is that what makes me uniquely ME is not defined by whether or not I achieve any of these specific things in my life, even though the rest of the world may make me feel this way with questions such as, "So when are you going to get back to so and so?". Achieving these things would be great! And if I don't achieve them, I am no less 'me' than I was yesterday. I am still very passionate about being my best ME every single day. I am still very much after pursuing excellence and greatness in everything that I do. Being a mother doesn't mean I have chosen a dream that is any greater or lesser than my other dreams. My dreams do not define me. Someone needs to hear that. If I achieve one dream out of many and no other, I will still have achieved and remained true to myself. I hope someone finds comfort in these words. It doesn't matter the direction my life takes me, and in the words of William Henly, "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul".

Thanks for taking the time to join me on my journey! I hope you had a good read. Click here to go back other interesting posts on our blog, The Journey. Also check out our online store right here for all your baby essentials. FREE shipping available worldwide!

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6 comments

  • Kdeen

    Comforting words. It’s also good to remember that life has seasons and the season of motherhood and nurturing young ones should be enjoyed and treasured. There will be time, as long as life spares, for you to still pursue your new or longtime dreams…dnt give up on them!

  • SuperMama

    I totally agree with you about our changing dreams. Why should they remain static when the rest of our lives are constantly evolving? Every part of us changes with new life experiences, whether or not we welcome those new changes and experiences into our lives.

    Just yesterday I was at a party in a recording studio – in my 20s and 30s I went to lots of studios, pursuing my dream of becoming a jazz singer. I still love to sing, and for me jazz is the most beautiful, playful, varied, creative genre of music and it lives deep in my heart. But yesterday I didn’t even have to weigh up the pros and cons of such a career choice; I instantly knew that I did not want that lifestyle any more. It doesn’t fit with my bigger, far more important dream of nurturing the two beautiful beings that the universe has given me responsibility for. We are all multi-faceted beings for whom multiple different life dream scenarios can be equally fulfilling, so I see no need to grip tightly onto the old dreams I held when I was half as old and half as wise as I am now. Rather than being immensely proud of creating challenging, beautiful music, I am immensely proud of having successfully gone back to university as a mother, transforming my family life and beginning a new career that I love.

    More important than doing what I want to do in my life is BECOMING the most enriched, authentic, loving and open person that I can be. Motherhood has challenged and changed me and directed me towards that goal far more deeply and intently than any other life experience in my 40+ years in earth. And it then in turn enriches and feeds every other part of my life, making me a better friend, a better worker and a better person.

  • Shauna

    I can relate 100%. Being a mom does sometimes feel like the death of things, but I agree. It doesn’t have to, it’s just the start of something new.

  • Fi

    I enjoyed reading this, and I can relate on many levels. Becoming a mom is a huge change…it’s a package full of unknowns.

  • Thabo Graham

    I found this piece very timely & inspirational despite not being a mother and understanding the dynamics of having a child. Nonetheless, it was relatable and empowering. Keep up the good work!

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